What kind of god would let something like this happen? I’m about to eat a mango and make some soup so I’ve opened up my formspring for a last round of questions on anything you can come up with

(Source: chicksdigthephoenix)

So yesterday I got a request to give my email address to someone from my Grandmother. A Demon of yesteryear then popped up on my gchat full of injured feelings and general butthurt over this totally throwaway post. My I don’t care is so strong I thought I’d share….

Not Me: We should talk.
Me: Por k’s…Who’s this?
Not Me: You know who this is it’s Not Me.
Me: Negro, last time I spoke your name aloud George W. wasn’t a comedy of errors yet.
Not Me: Whatever we need to have a serious conversation.
Me: It ain’t my baby Murry. I can’t even make girls.
Not Me: Ok, you want me to talk to you like your a basic bitch then cool. You are going to take down that post you made about my family on your little blog. I have a wife.
Me: A. If you are intentionally trying to confuse me you win. B. Has past experience taught you that talking to me like I was born earlier today works? C. Call me out my name again. I’ll find religion just so I can lose it.
Me: State what you want clearly then leave me the devil alone.
Not Me: That post about what my mom gave you for Christmas needs to come down. Your uncle forwarded it to me.
Me: LOL. Hold Up. You went and put your cape on because I said you were an awful lay? Surely your wife has sorted that out by now.
Not Me: Keep being funny. I’m asking before I look into talking a lawyer.
Me: Yes!!! Let’s have whether or not you are a horific lay judged by a jury of your peers. wonder if they will be charging you with Manslaughter or the inability to slaughter.
Me: I hope we gett Judge Joe Brown. He’s way better than Judge Mathis.
Not Me: Keep Laughing. I’ll talk to you about this again. Matter of fact fuck that I’ll talk to your granddad.
Me: Do you need me to actually point out where that idea is flawed logic?
Not Me: Whatever bitch keep pushing I’m done with you…for now.
Me: Foreshadowing? Negro you such a story teller.

John Rich, one half of the country duo Big & Rich, and his wife Joan welcomed their first child, a son…Cash Rich made his debut early Sunday morning at a Nashville hospital.

You can’t see me, but for the first time since Jermajesty I did the old church lady shake of the head at a child’s name.